Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
