i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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