i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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