Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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