We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I want a musical about memes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
