Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
