he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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