Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
