I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
