The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize