Define "chronic" masturbator.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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