its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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