If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
