Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
