Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
