mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do vagina's smell?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
