hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
