Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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