He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
