I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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