she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
