is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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