she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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