Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
