but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize