So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
