guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
