I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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