id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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