I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
