Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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