Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
