my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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