I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
