So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
