is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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