Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
