We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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