"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
