it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
