I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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