i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
