some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There r osticjed everywhere
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
