wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
