Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Drunk is not a location!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
