i permit you to call me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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