i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize