he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
