can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
