'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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