You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
