The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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