i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
