It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
