Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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