Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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