you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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