nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
